... you thought I had disappeared, didn't you?...
There are some days which are harder than the others. Make no mistake, I know that life is tough. But some days, they take your breath away. Not in the good, romantic, cliche rom-com way, but in the gut-wrenching, merciless hand of death kind of way.
It leaves you just gasping for air, your lungs suddenly collapsed, unable to fill your body with what it needs. You are effectively drowning in a vaccuum.
That is me right now. Tired as hell, and suddenly I hit a road block and I can't climb anymore. I stop, bend down with my hands on my knees and I just take in as much air as my lungs can find. My oxygen-starved brain is almost completely numb, and yet it manages to get one signal through.
And I start to laugh.
I laugh at the harshness of the situation, the stark unrelenting truth of circumstance. I laugh at fate's cruelty, and my futile attempts at succesful living. I laugh at the injustices that surround me, and my inability to wrap my head around any of them.
And I laugh.
If this life kills me, I will die laughing.
3 comments:
I loved this post!
Gut wrenching days are the worst. But you're not alone. Try and think of it as normal and inevitable. It helps me when I feel like things will never get better.
i firmly believe things will get better, even when evidence points to the contrary.
i just realised that i have become sadly unmoved by the things that i go through now. just another day at the office, so to speak.
im glad you like these posts, they are often written without much thought to grammar and structure.
So I guess then that you already DO accept them as normal and inevitable. Tricky huh.
But sometimes things don't seem better unless you look at it differently. Which is why it's important not to be sadly unmoved.
Gosh, if I were a self-help book, I'd puke at the so called wannabe wisdom I'm churning out! But if it's any help, angst ridden writing always makes for GOOD writing :-)
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